Pain
by Twisted DKat
Summary: What happens when Minerva finds out something about Hermione... and what secrets does Minerva have. Dark fic. Relationship. Don't like those two in a relationship, please don't read. Read warnings in first chapter.
1. Chapter 1

Pain. Song fic. Song by Three Days Grace. Potterverse belongs to the greatest writer of our time.

Dark fic. Cutting, BDSM, sex eventually. Don't like, don't read, duh.

All mistakes are my own... please, please tell me if there is one, I don't care if it's just a comma, or a wrong word.. aka, then, than... i always screw those two up. This is my first HG/MM story. Tell me what you'd like to see, give me ideas. It'll help me figure out where the hell this story is going.

It was three months into the new school year and Minerva had been watching Hermione closely. The young woman had returned after the war, asking to come back and do her NEWT year. Minerva agreed and even gave her the Gryffindor Head Girl quarters since the Head Girl this year was in Ravenclaw. The young woman had lost a lot in the war. Ron dying at the hands of Bellatrix before Molly killed her. Even so, she had expected that once back in school the girl would revert back to her eager studious self. But it seemed as though things would only get worse for her.

Hermione still refused to raise her hand, and when called upon for an answer her reply was spoken through angry gritted teeth. It wasn't till a moment ago, when Minerva was wondering around the room checking on everyones transfigurations that she became upset. The girl smelt of infection. And she had a good idea of what the cause was. Moving back to the head of the room she dismissed the class and with a quick "Miss Granger please stay for a moment." The students left and she used her wand to quickly close the door before going over to the young woman, pulling out Hermiones chair and pulling her robe sleeve up. Seeing the deep cuts, and the infected site she narrowed her eyes at the witch.

Hermione tried to pull her arm away, only to have herself tugged to her feet and practically dragged behind Minerva into her personal rooms, where she was deposited upon the sofa. The older witch quickly leaving the room. It wasn't said, but Hermione knew she was to stay put. Pulling down her robe sleeve and sitting on her hands she waited to see what her once mentor planned on saying. Not that it made a difference. No one could make her stop.

_Pain, without love_

_Pain, I can't get enough_

_Pain, I like it rough_

_'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

Minerva came out of the other room, bottle in hand. Seeing the girl sitting on her hands she gave her one look and Hermione sat the injured hand on her lap, pulling up the robe sleeve. Coming over to sit beside her she started using a salve on the infection. Hermione couldn't understand why she hadn't said a word yet. She didn't understand how Minerva even knew. Finally tired of the silence she quietly asked. "How did you know?"

The moving hand stilled. "I could smell the infection on you. One of the joys of my animagus. Why did you do it?"

Hermione looked at her for a second. She'd always thought the woman was beautiful, but she looked like some kind of dark angel right now. Full of anger, yet taking care of her. Minerva resumed attending to the many cuts. Taking a deep breath Hermione decided to just tell her the truth, she was of age, there wasn't a thing the woman could do to her. "I'm numb, inside, all the time. I just wanted to feel, for just a moment, something."

Minerva chose her words carefully, she didn't want to scare the girl away, but she knew what she wanted to do, but not just yet. "You can't be doing this, it's not safe. You could've ended up with blood poisoning. This will have to stop."

She finished cleaning up the wounds, grabbing her wand she began speaking softly, knitting the skin back together, leaving it unblemished where angry red and black lines had been. Her hand staying on the arm.

Hermione tried again to take her arm away from her, but Minerva held strong. "You can't do anything about this, i'm of age, I have no guardians. Just leave me be. I'll do better at keeping them clean, it's the only way to feel. Ginny's with Harry and I couldn't save Ron and you cannot save me!"

Minerva narrowed her eyes. _Ginny and Harry? I thought she and Ronald..._Coming back to the point at hand she asked. "So nothing I say is going to stop you?"

"No, I have to be able to feel something, I can't handle life without this, I don't want to do it without that pain."

The older woman knew that look, knew she meant what she said. With a voice as smooth as silk she asked "What about an alternative way to feel?"

The young witch looked up at her quizzically.

"Do you trust me?"

Hermione had to think on that for a moment, she hated the idea of trust. Trust got you hurt, trust broke your heart. But looking at the older woman, she found that she still did indeed trust her. "Yes, more so than anyone."

A weird grin spread across the older woman's face. "Good" Standing she grabbed the youngers hand and gently brought her to her bedroom.

_You're sick of feeling numb_

_You're not the only one_

_I'll take you by the hand_

_And I'll show you a world that you can understand_

"Professor?"

"Quiet, you said you trust me, now trust me. I'm going to give you a way to feel. Remove your shoes and outer robe and lay down on your stomach on the bed."

Hermione wasn't sure what to think, but she did trust the older witch, and followed the instructions. If Minerva could offer her a way to feel, then why not try it.

Minerva was looking over the young woman. She extinguished all but a few candles and it cast an eerie glow about the room.

"I'm going to bind your arms and legs in place, and then i'm going to spell your clothes away."

Hermione didn't make a move and so Minerva cast the simple charms. She looked the young woman's body over. Thinking she decided that if she was going to do this, she was going to at least try and enjoy it. Hermione had pale skin, and she was far too skinny, but her bum was very lovely. And she couldn't wait to see it turn a nice shade of red. The curls in her no longer bushy hair fell about her back in lovely ringlets. Yes Minerva was going to enjoy this.

Hermione still wasn't sure what was going on, but truth be told, she really didn't care.

Minerva went to her closet, choosing the right tool for the job. Deciding on a leather strap that was about an inch wide she came back around the bed to the girl. In a low seductive voice she started to talk to Hermione. "I'm going to help you feel the pain you need, it will be controlled. I won't harm you in a permanent way. "

Hermione looked into the green eyes searching for something, anything that would make sense to her, she saw a small glimmer of something, but not knowing what she closed her own eyes and gave a nod.

"Good, now I'm going to only swat you ten times for your first session and we'll talk afterwards. I'm going to begin now."

Hermione almost laughed. _Swatting, yeah like that's going to really help. _The first strike taking her breath away. _Well that is nothing like I used to feel._ The second and third felt about the same, just in different areas. Then the fourth came a bit stronger, as did the fifth and sixth. She felt tears welling up in her eyes. It was painful, and even as the seventh stroke landed she smiled as the tears fell over. The last three making the tears come harder and she felt her restraints loosen. A blanket dragged up over her. The bed dipped near her head and she felt strong arms gathering her.

Soft whispers issued into her ear. "You did very well Hermione. I'm very proud of how you have handled all this"

For some reason Hermione felt pride raise up in her. Her hair was being stroked as she started to calm down, her bum was very sore, but it was a good sore. Minerva put a finger under her chin to raise the brave young woman's eyes to her own. "Thank you for trusting me. Do you think you can talk, would you like some water?"

Hermione nodded, and within seconds a cool glass was being pressed to her lips. "Thank you."

Minerva gave her a tissue and Hermione started taking in her surroundings. The older witch had rid herself of her outer robe and had on a button down white shirt and black pants, what surprised her was that the infamous bun was down as well and her hair was long, with big curls in it, from being in the bun. Hermione felt a blush rise up, seeing her like that, so at ease gave her stomach a bit of a flutter. She pushed it down and away, the blush going along with the moment of feeling.

Feeling the younger woman stiffen, Minerva started running her fingers up and down her back, getting her to relax again. "Ronald?"

Hermione looked into those green eyes, trying to decide what to tell her. "No... not Ron... never Ron... however I do not wish to discuss that right now. I would like to ask if you do this, whatever this was, with other students?"

"First of all, I don't see you as a student, I haven't for a while now. Not after what you've been through. And no, i don't do this with students. As to what _this_ is. It's a lifestyle. I have a few books on it if you'd like to read them you can do so here, in my chambers, but they cannot leave my rooms. But i'd like to know if this will be a suitable alternative to the cutting?"

Hermione took her bottom lip between her teeth, really thinking on it. The pain had been good enough to make her cry. "Yes, for now at least."

"Alright. We have a lot to discuss, but first i'd like you to become more familiar with this lifestyle and set up a few rules." Stroking the long hair she asked "Are you ok for me to move?"

Hermione realizing she was very naked, more or less cuddling with her Professor quickly moved her blanket covered self off of the older witch only to be reminded of her sore bottom. Minerva looked her over once before nodding and going to her closet again. Grabbing out two books, one on being a sub, switch, or Dom/Domme, the other a catalog on all the different toys. "These will both help you, there are a couple of questionnaires in there that i'd like you to do. If you have any questions please ask me. If you'd like to look them over a bit, i'll go see about getting us both some dinner since we missed it. I'll be out in the sitting area whenever you want to come out."

The young witch gladly took the books. Reading over the first page she saw that the lifestyle was one of BDSM. Flipping through the book she took in a bunch of words... _submissive_, _erotic behavior, roles, humiliation, kink, pain, top, collar, safe word. _ She'd need to start from the beginning to understand this. Grabbing the other book... one that looked like a wizarding catalogue, so had moving pictures, she flipped through it... what she saw gave her butterflies. Women and men tied up, being spanked with different things, some of them had faces of ecstasy about them. Realising this wasn't just about pain, but that it could be about sex as well made her mind fill with images of her and ginny. And she shut the book at once. Getting up she looked around for her clothes, finding them folded on a chair, she slowly put them on, deciding to tuck her knickers in a pocket, because her bum was indeed sore. She made her way out to the open room to find Minerva dishing out food to two plates. "I can fix my own plate thank you very much professor."

"I know you are able to, however you are underweight, and if we are to continue down this road, you eating right, will be a part of the agreement." Smiling she added "And when we are in this room you will call me Minerva, and when we are in session you will address me as..."

She thought on it a moment, she didn't want to be her Mistress, at least not yet anyway, but hearing the young woman say Professor could be fun for her. "Professor, is that understood?"

Hermione was not happy about the food, but the pain had been good, so she agreed. Sitting down somewhat sideways so as to not put too much pressure on her sore arse, she took up her fork and started eating. Minerva having already started.

"You said that you don't do this with students, but you want me to call you Professor when we are in that kind of setting?" She asked after she had swallowed.

Minerva knew asking that of her was going to bring up questions, she just hoped they wouldn't be voiced. "I think i'll find some enjoyment in the term being used. If you however are uncomfortable with it, I'm sure I can come up with something else."

"No it's fine, I just wondered."

Minerva smiled and decided to take control of the conversation. "Did you look through either books?"

"A bit. It was... umm... different."

A smile like Hermione had never seen lit up the black haired witches face. "Indeed, it can be a bit much to take in, but tell me, which different did you find it? Good? Bad?"

Hermione took a sip of what turned out to be pumpkin juice. Stalling while she came up with the answer. She gave Minerva a leveled gaze. "Good, the wizarding catalog showed some interesting toys for this, umm BDSM stuff." She stuttered a bit over the last two words, not sure how to describe it.

"Lifestyle is the word you might be looking for. I learnt of it myself when I was just a couple years older than yourself. A friend introduced me to it, and I found it fit me well. Though i'm what they would call a switch."

Seeing the young woman's quizzical look she decided to explain. "There are generally three types of people. Those who enjoy giving pain, and enjoy being in charge, that's a top, a Dominant, a Dom/Domme, or Master, or Mistress. Those who prefer taking the pain, and can take being told what to do, though you do have your brats, who like to be difficult, but those would be a Sub, Submissive, a pet if you will. And then you have the Switch. They can, as the name entails, switch roles. Tell me Hermione, could you cause someone pain on purpose, for enjoyment, or for punishment?"

The girl was trying to wrap her brain around what was just said. The question had been spoken in a way to cause the brief fluttering in her stomach to return and once again she pushed it away. "I.. that is, yes, I think I could. I like being in charge, but I enjoyed giving it up to you today, it felt natural."

Minerva was pleased. This could turn out to be fun. But they had only discussed the punishment side of things. She would wait and see what the girl marked on her papers or until she made the first move towards a more sexual nature. Right now it was about getting her to stop cutting. "We have a couple hours before curfew, you can stay here and read through the books, or you can go back to your rooms, as long as you promise to come right back as soon as you feel like cutting."

They both had finished their meals and Hermione found for once she didn't want to be alone just yet. "I'd like to stay, please."

"Go a head and grab the books, you can read them in here with me while I mark papers."

Hermione made her way back to the bedroom. This time taking in her surroundings. The room was large, the bed taking up the most space, it looked to be a queen bed, with a deep crimson comforter, almost the color of blood. The rest of the room was done in dark woods, the walls an almost black red. It was beautiful in it's darkness. Grabbing the two books from the bed she made her way back out to the living area. It was split into two different areas. The dining table to one side, then around the fireplace a huge sofa, along with a couple of wingback chairs. The fireplace mantel having photos lined upon it. The walls having shelves upon shelves filled with books. She itched to go to them to read their titles, but figured the two she held would do for now. She sat her new studying materials for the night on the coffee table, going to sit in front of the couch she paused. "Can I grab my bag so I can take notes if need be?"

Minerva was sitting on the couch, her knees tucked up under her leaning on the arm looking over papers. "Hmm.. yes of course."

The young witch quickly made her way out and back sitting on the floor just off to the side of where the older witch was. The older woman smiling at the unknowing submissive gesture.

They both spent the next two hours mostly in silence, both working. Though when the younger of the two had a question the older one would gladly sit aside her work to help.

When Hermione got back to her rooms she changed for bed before laying down. Sleep however did not come, no she kept replaying the last two hours in her mind. The first checklist was almost like a personality test. To help her see if she was a sadist or masochist, a sadomasochist, top or bottom, or switch. Once finished she asked Minerva if she'd like to see it. And the older witch gladly scooped it up. She had ended up being in the area of a switch, with a bit of sadomasochism. Minerva had explained to her that though the results are usually right on, that one doesn't really know until in the actual situation. The older witch also informed her of her own results, which were similar to Hermiones.

The second checklist though is what really had Hermione up. It was a list of bondage and sexual toys and tools. She had used the catalog to find out what every single one of the items meant. She hadn't realized there were so many. Of course she had heard of a witches vibrator, but the other stuff, a spreader bar, whips, chains, rope, these were things that she hadn't thought of incorporating into a sexual situation. She had enjoyed the idea of many of the devices and gladly wrote down the ones she was open to using. It would have been easier to write down those that she didn't want too. She had actually only got through about half of the list. The things you could use to tie a person up with was fascinating. Though she wasn't sure if this thing with Minerva or should she think 'Professor', would turn sexual. She knew she could get sexually excited by pain. It was part of why cutting was so appealing. Though that hadn't happened today.

While Hermione thought these things over Ginny would pop into her mind, and she'd simply push the her away. She hated when the young woman slipped into her mind. This was about her and Minerva, and it was a way to feel something other than numb. Finally sleep took her away.

Meanwhile Minerva was in her own bed. Think about the way her body had enjoyed looking upon Hermione charmed to her bed. Next time she'd take her time and enjoy tying the girl up. She'd never done this with a 'student' before... she hadn't taught most of England as some thought. But it had been a good ten years since she had had a partner. She knew Hermione was hurting, and she thought she could help the young woman get through it and out the other side. She also knew she shouldn't, but she did want to bed the young witch. Who wouldn't, and she was more than of age. She decided then that if given the chance, she would. But no feelings would be attached, Minerva didn't do that. It was about a release, if feelings got involved it would ruin things, she'd have to make sure the girl knew that up front. Decided in her thoughts, she rolled over and went to sleep. Dreams filled with all sorts of kinky things. Yes the honorable Professor Mcgonagall was a twisted witch, and she enjoyed it.

_This life is filled with hurt_

_When happiness doesn't work_

_Trust me and take my hand_

_When the lights go out you will understand_

A/N So what would you all like to see happen? Yes, there might be some Out of Characterness. But Minerva really doesn't have much of a character to go on... so my imagination is running wild with her.

The next chapter will be up at some point. I need some inspiration for it. As I said before I don't know where this is going. I'd like it to be dark... i like dark and twisted.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm re-working what I have. Once it's up to my standards it will be re-uploaded. I didn't want to loose the comments I already have. Sorry.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm re-working what I have. Once it's up to my standards it will be re-uploaded. I didn't want to loose the comments I already have. Sorry.


	4. Chapter 4

I'm re-working what I have. Once it's up to my standards it will be re-uploaded. I didn't want to loose the comments I already have. Sorry.


	5. Chapter 5

This is a story some of us can understand. The letter to the one we love, telling them that we are indeed in love with them. What comes from letters like this is a friendship Hermione and Ginny weren't expecting, but they were grateful.

One-shot. And this is for you my friend.

It was odd for Ginny to be sitting there holding Hermione, as the girl wept openly on her shoulder. Ginny was easily able to run her fingers through soft brown ringlets. Hermione had just received the letter that in one fell swoop broke her heart into a thousand unfixable pieces. Headmistress McGonagall did not come right out and say that she did not feel for Hermione, as the young woman felt for her, but she did make it clear that friends is all they'd be. Ginny understood Hermione's hurt. For she too had been down that devastating road of loving someone who would never be able to love her that way. One Rolanda Hooch.

Ginny had went through the same painful days of waiting to see if the letter would be answered. Once Hooch had gone from Hogwarts during her horrible sixth year, she had decided to write her, spilling her deepest, most guarded secret. She, like Hermione had soaked her very soul into each word that was sent to Hooch. Only to be told that she "didn't think of her in that way." Knowing she couldn't go to any of her brothers she kept the emotions hidden. Then the great battle took place, and Hermione was back in her life.

Things weren't the same. They had both changed so much, it was like meeting for the first time. Ron had always been around when Hermione had been at the Burrow, but once they both started their seventh and final year together they became good friends. Though both were very much focused on studying, and Ginny with quidditch, they found time to talk at night, as they unwound for bed. In their shared dorm room. It didn't take Ginny long to see the signs that Hermione was showing. The one's of being in love with someone you couldn't have.

Most people didn't give Ginny due credit. She grew up with enough older brothers to easily figure out what was going on with someone, without them saying it. But how to approach Hermione? She decided to simply tell her about Hooch. And that's exactly what she did. How it all started, how even she had first brushed it off as a casual crush. How the older woman would invite her for drinks at the three broomsticks in a private room. How they could talk for hours, how incredibly smart Hooch was. How her teacher mask would fall away. How the hugs became heaven and torment. Finally she took out two letters. One was the copy of the letter she had sent to Hooch, the other, the reply.

Hermione had listened, her heart pounding in her ears at times as she heard how Ginny fell for someone much older, someone who had been her teacher, someone she could never have. She read the letters, both of them, tears breaking over her lashes as she finished the second one. It was as if the letters were to and from Minerva, by her own hand. That had been the first time Ginny had held Hermione close and Hermione had held her back. As they both grieved over a love that wouldn't be. The two falling asleep in each others arms.

The next day Hermione let her walls down and told Ginny all about Minerva. How the mutual interest in Transfiguration turned into nightly chess, then simply into nightly talks between two friends. Hermione knew there wasn't much hope of them being together, Minerva had been married, she had kids her age. But it didn't stop the feelings, it didn't diminish the depth of what she had come to feel.

They talked and continued on with their last school year. Both heartbroken. Hermione knew one day she'd have to send the letter. A letter just like Ginny had sent to Hooch. But she made plans. Plans that would allow her to get away from the European wizarding world. She would go to the Americas. Hermione also kept meeting with Minerva, she gave the woman chance, after chance to get out of their several times a week meetings. However Minerva would time and again find a reason to have them. Before anyone knew it, the NEWTs were over. They would still be at school for another week though. Getting ready for the graduating ceremony.

Hermione had came into their shared dorm room tears rolling down her cheeks. Ginny quickly went to her side. "What is it?"

"I think she knows… I'm not sure what I said, but… I think she knows." Hermione quickly went to her bed sitting down.

It was Ginny's turn to be confused. "What makes you think that? Did you say something?"

"No, but, it must have been the other night. She cancelled our meeting again today, and told me that she would not have the time to meet with me again before everyone leaves. Then she dismissed me, she actually said "That'll be all Miss Granger." That's when Hermione went silent, her tears dried up, and she just sat there, looking at nothing.

"It's time." With those two words uttered by Ginny, Hermione got up and took out her quill, ink, and paper. She wrote, and wrote, she would throw and tear pieces off, starting over, and over, again and again. She wrote till her fingers hurt. It had to be perfect. This had to convey what she felt. Ginny for her part just laid in bed. She didn't want to interrupt her, she knew this had to be done on her own. Finally just as the sun was setting Hermione finished. Ginny told her to make a copy, she'd want to be sure she didn't forget something. And so she did.

they walked together down to the owls, as that was the way she'd decided to have it delivered. It would come during the night meal. She'd know Minerva had received it, she'd watch her read it.

Once the bird was set to go they headed down to dinner. Hermione looking pale as could be. She suddenly stopped."I think i'm going to throw up."

Ginny tried to sooth her, rubbing circles on her back, telling her it would be ok. That this way she would know, once and for all. That the questions would be answered. Finally ready the made their way into the great hall. Hermione made sure to sit near the wall, so she'd be able to watch Minerva. She tried to keep up appearances, putting food on her plate, though she only pushed it about. There was no way she was eating. Then in walked Minerva, and just like that her pulse sped up, her palms getting sweaty, her breath being caught in her throat. It happened every time she saw the woman. And how could it not. She was beautiful, and intelligent and she was her everything.

Then the late post arrived. She watched as Minerva took the letter off of the owl, offering it a bit of a biscuit, the older woman glanced down, seeing her name, and knowing right away who it was from, she looked out, and saw Hermione's eyes watching her, she gave her a nod, then gently put the parchment into her robe. Hermione could've cried. Ginny seeing what had happened and realizing Hermione was about to lose it, she turned to Hermione saying she didn't feel well, and asked her to walk to their dorm together.

It took a while, but eventually Hermione calmed down. And then she waited, and waited, and waited.

Finally one evening after dinner they had went to their dorm room to ready for bed, and upon her bed Hermione found a letter. At once she knew who it was from. She sat down, unrolling it, and then she set to read it. It took Ginny a little while before she realized what was happening. Tears were streaming down the brunettes face, the kind you have no control over. Finally she finished. She gave Ginny the letter.

Ginny read the letter, then re-read the letter. Her heart broke for Hermione. She sat down beside the beautiful woman, pulling her too her. She knew this was likely to be the turn out, but Gods she didn't want it to be that way. She had come to care far too much for Hermione in the short time they'd really got to know one another. She had hoped that Minerva would see that, read it in the letter that was so carefully, skillfully wrote to her. But the woman said only that they'd be friends.

Ginny knew Hermione's walls were crumbling, she was grateful that she was able to hold her. She knew it wouldn't be ok, not anytime soon. She also knew that Hermione, like herself would learn to deal with those feelings, that she'd learn to live her life with the hurt ever present. How could she tell her the dreams would continue, that whenever she'd glimpse Minerva or someone like her, that the feelings would still be there. Minerva wanted to continue to hear from Hermione, to keep her updated as to her life. She couldn't help but think how selfish that was of the older woman. It would've been better if she'd told her to leave her alone, to move on. But no, she left something there, that tether, the one that she knew Hermione wouldn't be able to break.

As she listened to the whispered words Hermione spoke, her heart broke even more. That was when something happened… she felt that sharp pang, the one that she only ever got when Hooch was concerned. She lifted her head, then looked down on Hermione, and realized how much her friend had come to mean to her, and in such a short time. And her own tears took over, because as before, this would never be. It may not be love, but it was real, and it was there, and she held onto her, selfishly. The woman, who had a heart so big oceans could get lost in it, a beauty to rival Aphrodite, and an understanding of love and loss only a few could truly understand, the woman breaking in her arms at that very moment.

If only Minerva had said yes ,there wouldn't be so many tears.

Ginny counted down the days.. the hours she had left with Hermione, she knew that all too soon the older one would be headed across the pond. It hurt, she knew they'd be able to send owls, but she also knew this distance would break another part of her. She still didn't know how it happened, and how it had happened so quickly, but she wanted the other woman. She wanted to learn each and every spot that made her moan. She wanted to feel her as she came undone around her fingers, and in her mouth. She wanted to see her in that moment, to remember it, to have it, to hold it as a dear memory. But she knew it wasn't to be. The wound Hermione now carried far too fresh, and far too deep.

So, the young woman carried on. She stood by Hermione's side as a friend would do. Let her cry on her shoulder, or listen as she vented, and they both shared stories of the ones who they loved, who couldn't, or wouldn't return their feelings. They both knew a bond had been made over the experience that neither wished they'd had lived through. But it was there, and it would be there for a long time to come.

When graduation day came, they were inseparable. They both donned robes, not in house colors, or with house emblems, but rather in an adult witches style. It was custom to leave as one class, not as they had become, separated by the houses they were sort, no now they left as they had come to the castle, as one.

Ginny watched as with Honors Hermione was awarded a special newly made metal. She had scored higher than any witch or wizard ever has, sitting every N.E.W.T. except Divinations. Minerva was the one giving Hermione the award, the older witch speaking of how gifted and brilliant Hermione was,how she couldn't have ever been prouder of one of not only her cubs, but her friend. The redhead couldn't believe the words that left Minerva's mouth. She wanted to run up to the stage and hex the cold-hearted woman. That is until she saw Hermione, and how she was looking at Minerva, perhaps this is what Hermione had needed in order to move on.

The rest of the ceremony went by in a blurr. At the end her family took her and Hermione over, offering congratulations and hugs all around. There was dancing, and drinks and food. It was a bittersweet festivity for Ginny, she knew Hermione would leave soon. As if the lovely brunette could hear her thoughts, Hermione pulled Ginny away from her family, asking her to walk her to the gate. They walked in silence, Ginny chanced and grabbed Hermione's hand, threaded their fingers together holding tightly, she had almost forgot to breath until the other witch held on with just as much feeling. When they reached the gate Ginny couldn't bring herself to look at Hermione, instead she kept her eyes downcast, afraid of what Hermione might see if she were to look.

She hadn't even realized she'd started crying until Hermione unlinked their fingers and brought her hands up to cup her face. Hermione's thumbs lightly removing the tear marks from under the younger witches eyes. Green eyes finally locking with brown. "Hi." It was a whisper from the older witch.

Ginny smiled at that and was rewarded with a heart-stopping smile from Hermione. "There that's better. Now why the tears?"

The younger witch froze. She couldn't tell her, she wouldn't, as it wouldn't be fair, and Hermione had had enough of that the last week. She did the only thing she could, she put the walls up. With a smile on her face she pushed through. "It's just been a long few years… and now it's ending."

"Oh sweet Ginny, it's not ending, it's only beginning. You are going to play for a real quidditch team, and I'm on my way to the Americas. Our lives are finally starting. So, don't be sad." She wiped the last bit of tears from the perfect porcelain face, and that's when she felt it… that jolt, in her stomach, the one reserved for Minerva. Quickly schooling her features, she couldn't afford this, not now.

Ginny saw something pass over the brunettes features, but for a moment it was lost to her. Too wrapped up in keeping her own emotions under control. She smiled. "Yes, I suppose you are right. Miss Know-it-all." She tried to take in everything she could about the woman standing in front of her, memorising it, so she'd have it, after. "You will go to the Ministry from here, then take the port-key? And then you will owl me to let me know you've made it?"

"I promised I would. And you, you promised you would write me at least once a week in return, right?" Once again her emotions threatening, and the tears, again with the stupid tears that she had no control over, but this time they weren't just over Minerva.

"I thought we weren't being sad?"

"Yes, well… you know you've become a… a bloody brilliant presence in my life?" She then stepped closer and wrapped Ginny in a strangling hug. She had to go, she knew she did, but why did this feel so much like a forever goodbye, and not the I'll see you later kind.

Ginny hugged her back with just as much emotion, quietly whispering in her ear, "I'll always be there for you… never forget that… even when we become old, and we only talk once a year, you ask, and I'll be there, for you, always."

They pulled back from each other, both sets of eyes look to sets of lips, and then they both leaned in, and it was the softest of kisses, until one of them decided to breath, and neither knew which did it, but they melted together. Tears sliding down cheeks, it was a wet kiss, but in it they thanked each other for all the nights they'd had, they held on until Hermione knew it was time to go. She pulled away slowly, giving small kisses until she could no longer touch her, and then she looked in the dazzling green eyes, and nodded, receiving a nod back. Hermione closed her eyes and apparated to the Ministry of Magic.

They both knew this was goodbye. Yes, they'd keep writing, and maybe one day, years down the road, once they were both in the right mind, perhaps then they could have a chance.

A/n the end.


End file.
